Again...Frustrated..!!

It is quite an irony that I am writing the post just before my semester exam. Been wanting to write this for a long time now, have been telling people all around I am coming up with this.

Very angry, highly frustrated. And it is all going to be vented out here.

I am sick and tired of people around me. This has happened before. Of course it has. Politics, ego, high-headed characters, jealousy, unhealthy competition, back biting, front biting, selfish foolishness, race for power instead of professionalism, desperately trying to take the credit.....uh..!!!! where do I start and where do I end it????

Yes, it happens everywhere. But trust me, I would not come with such shit in my blog unless I find it really INSANE and out of the world!

Most of the time, I doubt myself. It has always been this self doubt that has made me achieve the little I have in the past 19 years. I am talking about small achievements all of us have had, like a short term goal to surpass someone, or to learn something, or to do something new or help someone. Such achievements give me great pleasure, and it is the self doubt that has helped me a lot, because if you are answerable to yourself, you would not have to be answerable to anyone else. You know the truth, and when you accept it, you are out of complexities..

Recently, my self doubt has reaped some real good results. For one, I also realized that I am not living a complex life. Just few very close people who I give a shit about, and a whole lot of them at a safe distance, not too far, not too near. Far away not to get into all the bullshit and near enough to have a ball when you need to. I guess I am being selfish, but at least, I am not causing anyone any trouble. I am near enough to be there for one when one needs me.

Taking off from that self doubt, I recently encountered a fool's paradise. The heaven which is sought at by many, where people pretend to have fun, and live in miseries all day. Where people cling to each other while bitching behind their back, where people make claims in the air and prove things to themselves

Interestingly, the enemies of the fool's paradise are within. Each and every one of them is an enemy of one's self. They are so insecure and unsure. They have to get to the lowest levels in a cowardly manner to move ahead, and that too superficially. And hey, I am famous enough for people to plan to mug me now! Can you beat that?

And me, I am having fun, laughing my balls of. Peace, harmony, work, friends, love, and laughing my balls off by looking at them whenever I need the entertainment. A 90 to 150 degree turn gives me instant entertainment. People laugh so much and so meaninglessly that I am amazed. Someone tells me I don't know how to have fun........now, who was it?

I dint like it

Blogging after a long time can get nostalgic...

I hate nostalgia, hate it. Too emotional. Rather be drunk out of my skulls and pass out than think about the past. But still I do it. I keep thinking the past and cry.

Err...why am I driving taking diversion from what I wished to speak? Dunno......Had a disgusting day and it drove me to this place now. Its quite obvious that you either cry your heart out or shout abnormally when a thing which you dint expect happen. It did happen yesterday. The words I read, came to me as arrows to stab my heart. But now I can think this...what was wrong in what he said? yeah!! I dint, but still...I should have not started the argument with a guy with 'know-it-all' attitude. Err..do I deserve to say this now? I guess I DO!! But I dont deserve the ‘something’, to speak about him or about the work he did. Who am I? Friend..! Yet, a friend with a boundary(from now??). I should have learnt this before. If I had, I would have not let my bloody mouth to let out such words...such comments. I dint comment on the sense he took...but still, I dont deserve the place or the eligibility to comment the guy being praised good at the venue where we learn...I learnt a different thing....quite personal !! LOL...:D

Well let me divert here now...:P

Sometimes, you close your eyes, take a few steps, and then open your eyes. You suddenly find that you have reached the point of no return. The only way is the road ahead. The only way is to run forward, you might not even be able to slowdown. Has the journey been good so far? You don’t know. Is the present position good? Dunno. Are you comfortable? No. For sure, no, this post wouldn’t be here otherwise.
But then what really matters is to do what you want to do. To have the balls to turn around, show the world the finger, and walk back. There are other routes, better ones. And there is always the same route back to the present position if need be, it IS there, I will make sure it is there...

Hypocrisy is a funny thing. It bothers those people the most who don’t want to be hypocrites. There are two kinds of hypocrites, and all of us fall in either of the category. Number one, people who like being hypocrites and think that’s the way ahead. The other, people who are forced to be hypocrites because there is no way ahead without being a hypocrite. I just wish I remain among the latter.
Ethical hypocrisy can be even funny. Ethics are designed to hide incapability. Ethics is what people talk about when they are incompetent in a competition driven environment. Ethics hold back innovation, creativity and enterprise.

I need a break. Short, refreshing one. To think about my love, the gift that I have got...the only person over whom I have got a big hope that my life will turn gleeful soon and will drive me to the seventh heaven!! Err...again its quite personal..!! LoL

Again...I need a break. Short, refreshing one.!!:D